Reality
I'm amazed at how kind people can be. People have been so nice to me for the last 4 months, that I've forgotten the little slights, insults, and indignities that people can inflict on others. I truly believe that most people will do the nice/right thing when given enough time to think, but often we let our environment and our moods interfere.
I guess where I'm going with this is that after a wonderful phone call with someone today, I realized how nice everyone was being to me, and it actually made me sad. It made me realize how serious things are. When you're really sick, people walk around on eggshells, afraid to upset you. Realizing this was a bit of reality that had been absent for a week. Whenever I talk to friends and family on the phone I notice that I'm always trying to put up a brave front, so that they don't worry. But deep down I'm still awfully scared. The fact that I'm still on heavy painkillers a week after discharge scares me. The fact that I haven't had a good night's sleep in 2 weeks scares me.
That's a good thing I think, though fear is not always a welcome emotion. Fear can be a powerful motivator, but it can also do a lot of damage. I just have to take each day one at a time.
I'll get better each day, and then one day someone will say something mean and I'll realize I'm completely healed. I can't wait for that day...
love,
Cj
posted by @ 7:50 PM
4 Comments:
Hey Chris...If it makes you feel better, I'll call you tomorrow and really give you a piece of my mind! :)
Seriously, I thought of the following verse as I read your blog: "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." 1Jn.4:18 The perfect love that John is speaking about is in reference to the love of God for His people. This love is so perfect that nothing can separate us from it! Read Romans 8:31-39 This is a great and wonderful promise from the Lord!
You moron.
Don't know who said "you moron" but if it was directed at me and my previous post, please forgive me for not being more clear. My comments to Chris were mean't to encourage him to remember the Lord's love for him and that this helps when we are afraid. I am not downplaying the reality of fear in our lives; only pointing Him to the One who is able to help him during his time of struggle.
I too am thankful for the good news mentioned in Mom's post!
Mark,
I believe the "You moron" comment was meant humorously to be that mean thing Chris couldn't wait for, signaling that he is getting better. That's how I read it, anyway.
Post a Comment
<< Home