Spaghetti Night

My mom cooked spaghetti dinner for us tonight, and it was wonderful to put aside all thoughts of my upcoming treatment for a moment, albeit brief. I was caught up in the struggle to keep our house from turning into a crisis center with my 3 year old who is as energetic as one could hope, yet as independent and rebellious as a father could fear.

It's not often that we realize how fortunate we are. We complain about this, or snicker about that, all the while missing out on the joy and happiness that is within our reach. I can say that until the last 60 days, my family has been fortunate, even blessed compared to so many. In the past I was always quick to blame my personal flaws on either my upbringing or the environment of my youth. For someone who always recited the mantra of personal responsibility, I was often the first to avoid it. Facing your own flaws and shortcomings is never easy, especially for someone who never had been held accountable.

I guess that I've grown up some in the last 7 years. I've had a failed business, a failed marriage, behaved like a spoiled kid, yet somehow found love and happiness when I needed it most. I have to credit a wife who has stood by me at my worst, two kids that bring tears to my eyes just thinking of them, and a sister who has taught me what it means to be a sibling as well as a friend.

Perhaps if I had just taken the time to look around at something other than myself, I would have realized it was always there...

love,

Cj